Remember the first time?

I'm in the process of starting up a Jewish "Sunday" school for kids with ASD. This will be a partnership between my Synagogue, Beth Emeth, and a great ASD therapy center, Puzzle Pieces. More on this another time.

While meeting with the Rabbi and Director of Puzzle Pieces, the Director related the story about the first time(s) she met J. She said "The first time I met J he was the most charming and sweetest little boy you could imagine. The second time he was stark naked in the corner throwing his shoes at me." 

I assured both of them that J does that less often now.

Can't argue with that

J and S were sitting on (opposite ends of ) the couch watching TV. Out of no where, J gets up, walks over to S and punches him in the head.

After dealing with the situation, we ask J why he did it. He said he wanted to watch TV alone, and if he punched S, then S wouldn't like him anymore and would not want to watch TV with him. And it worked.

The logic is sound, but I can't help but wonder if there is an easier way to achieve the same result.

Best day of camp, ever!

Overall, J had a solid first week at the new camp. Some hitting, he broke a mug (sort of by accident), but he did most of the activites and generally enjoyed it.

But today, was something special. I picked him up at the end of the day and he ran to me with a big hug, beaming from ear to ear telling me how it was a perfect day- PERFECT. The counselor filled in the details. No hitting, bad language, anger or aggression of any sort. He participated in every activity. Played ball with other kids at recess. And even are some of his lunch (I think combined for the whole school year, he ate less than the equivalent of 1 sandwich).

What a great way to end the week!

New Camp

J starts a new camp this week - a social skills camp from kids with ASD.

J really enjoyed the last camp, but he spent the entire day sitting with his 1-1 worker, colouring. And even then, he ended up hitting kids or counselors more days than not. It was a great camp, but it really highlighted that he needs more direct teaching of social skills - so this new camp is perfect.

It's funny how I can tell withing 10 seconds of meeting a counselors, teacher, babysitter... if they'll work for J. It's the tone of voice, energy level, how they say hello to him. Can't pin point it, but it's so clear to me if someone "gets" aspergers or not. These people clearly do!

Of course, J tested them a bit today, there was a bit of hitting and swearing - but it as par for the course for them. They handled it perfectly, and despite the behaviour, they got him to participate in just about every activity.

I think this camp will work out well.

This was a doozy

This weekend we decided to modify J's medication. He'd been on adderall for a while, but it's completely killed what little appetite he had before. He's gained almost no weight for the past 2 years. We had heard good things about strattera and decided to try him on that. For the past 6 week's he's been on both, and doing really well. The only hard parts of the day were the 15 minutes right after we gave it to him, and the 30 minutes, 11 hours later, when the adderall wears off. After those 30 minutes he's perfect. Our thinking was that the strattera (which is a 24 hour effectiveness) was working and the adderall was messing with his system. So we decided it was time to get rid of the adderall.

Saturday went OK, he was certainly less focused, couldn't sit still, but was very manageable. We thought out plan was working. We again didn't give him the adderall on Sunday, and that's when the fun started. He woke up OK, even slept in a bit longer than usual. The first 30-45 minutes after waking up were fine, then the fun began. 

I don't even remember what set it off, but he went completely out of control for 3 hours straight - despite our best efforts to calm him down. He destroyed his room. Tried to throw everything from his room over the banister down to the basement (successfully getting a lot down). Broke his door (more broke then it was before, from previous meltdowns). Tore everything off his walls. Stripped his bed. Emptied his closet. 

It wasn't even near lunch time yet.

He's back on adderall now. We'll try again in a few months*.

*Strattera build up in your system, meaning the longer you're on it, the better it works - often it takes up to 6 months to reach optimal effectiveness.

Is this "blame the parent for autism" month?

For the second time in 2 weeks, we've had someone blame us for J's behaviour.

Today, J was playing at the splash pad at our local park. He slipped and banged his face on the cement - banged him self up pretty badly - his cheek is all scraped and has a huge bruise. In typical J style, he reacted badly to the injury and threw some sand at a mother. Not a good choice of behaviour, and he knows it, but understandable for any 7 year old, especially one with Aspergers.

Well, the mother freaks, grabs him by the arm and says is he ever does that again she's going to spank him on his bum. Luckily I wan't there, because I don't know why I would have done. But my wife was, and after apologizing for the sand, my wife tells this mother that J's on the spectrum. The lady goes on a rant about how her kid has autism too (no idea if that's true), and that we need to get him into ABA because behaviour like that is not acceptable, and it's our job to prevent it.

While nothing she said was technically incorrect, I find it shocking that anyone familiar with children on the spectrum would accost a parent like that. Anyone parenting a child with autism has been in my wife's shoes, having to apologize for some behaviour. You'd think a little sympathy would be in order, not threatening to hit our kid, then blaming the parents.

Needless to say, my wife is a bit shaken up today. It still amazes us how much intolerance of ASD there is out there.

A great week at a great camp

Well, the first week went really well.

He says he's enjoying camp, which is something he's never said before - ever. The first few days had a few outbursts, nothing major, all for obvious reasons, like losing his favourite hat (which we luckily found); but the camp handled it perfectly - as a camp open to special needs kids should.

Our challenge now will be to get J actually participating. You see, he's spent most of the first week sitting in a gazebo, colouring with his 1-1 worker. Not that I mind him colouring, but I do want him to do some socializing.

After what happened at his old camp, I don't think I've seen his confidence so low in a very long time. It's amazing to see his confidence get back up there.

Next week, once he's settled, we'll need to start encouraging more participation. But for now, we're so proud of our little guy for having such a great week!