5 total melt downs in 2.5 hours, and he's finally asleep

We haven't had an evening like this in a long time. Now I can process what has been quite a day.

Have we met? My wife and I are blessed with two wonderful boys. S, 5 and J, 7. J was diagnosed with Aspergers almost 2 years ago.

Today was J's first day at his new camp. I'll get to talking about why he's no longer at his old camp some other time - but rest assured, it has something to do with Aspergers. It was a pretty good day, J tells me there were a few hitting incidents (which the camp didn't tell me about - not sure I like that). We're currently struggling with managing J's anger. This hasn't been such a problem for most of the past academic year, but ever since May, J's been doing a lot of hitting and kicking. Sometimes out of anger, sometimes, frustration, sometimes anxiety. It's causing no end of anxiety for me - I can handle a day full out meltdowns, screaming and just about anything else. But having a skinny, but freakishly strong, 7 year old kicking people in the eye won't do.

All in all, we were reasonably happy with his first day; he actually had fun, which potentially bodes well for the rest of the summer, and he acknowledges he needs to work on the hitting. He even came up with something he can use to calm down. I found his trick fascinating, I'll have to talk to one of his many therapists about it. It boils down to using some random number generator (he suggested writing numbers in clank on the sidewalk, and throwing a marble to land on one number) to pick a number between 1 and 30, and then he hits and kicks the air that many times. Certainly better than hitting and kicking people that many times. But he stressed that he can't pick the number - it's not an indication of how mad he is. The number has to be out of his control - that, is his mind, is the key to this working.

Psychologically, I think that's fascinating. When he feels out of control, he needs something out of his control to help calm him down. I'm sure there's a deeper meaning in there, but I'm not up to digging into it right now.

Two of his melt downs happened just before, and at a therapy sessions, with a wonderful therapist. I feel bad saying it, but I'm glad she got to see it. Because for the first 6 months of us going there, he's always been the most cooperative boy. It's hard to provide therapy when you never see the behaviours we're trying to work on. When he was starting to calm down she said something to J about how she's here to help him figure out how to manage his feelings. J responded "No one can help me." That just about broke my heart. He really feels like this is something he needs to solve himself, and in a way he's right. But J , if you read this some day please know that I love you with all my heart and will always to everything in my power to help you and make your life easier.

So much more to talk about, but it will have to wait for another day.